Reflecting on being a mom

So yes, I've only been a mom the past three and a half years.  But it seriously has been the best past three and a half years of my life.  Include the ten months of pregnancy.  It has been an emotional roller coaster, a joy filled experience, fun, boring and most of all, the most rewarding experience ever.


I have a few minutes to type, because Richie is currently absorbed in watching "Megamind".  I have yet to see that movie from start to finish, because recently I have been watching "adult tv" [without the nudity and obnoxious noises.]


Back when I was a kid I thought my mom was the meanest, worst person ever.  In my teen years you could definitely say there was a possible hatred going on.  I made her life a living hell and never thought twice about it.  It wasn't even teenage angst.  I couldn't tell you what the hell my problem was, especially towards this woman who devoted her life to my upbringing, care and entertaining my every whim.  I suppose there is truth in thinking that when you're a teenager you're "all knowing".  There's only one truth that I know.  For me, I wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for my mom.  No matter the hurt and bullshit I put her through, she has always been there for me.  Why did it take me almost thirty years?  Because I'm a mom myself.  I'm hoping that Richie never puts me through what I put my mom through, in a way though, I would deserve it.


The things my mom has taught me. [Or some of them.]
Respect
Compassion
Independence
Love
Manners
To be who I am, rather than be someone else


Fundamentals that all moms should teach their children.  Things that I will teach my child, and pray that he follows and lives by these values and morals.


So far in raising my Smoochy Poo, I honestly don't think we've done too bad.  Perhaps I lucked out because he's such an awesome, well rounded little guy.


I'm not really sure where it is that I'm going with this blog, except that the fact I feel guilty and remorseful for the shitty way I was fifteen years ago.  I suppose it's because my mom has helped me out so much the past few years with Richie, and lately because I'm not suppose to be on my foot [Oops.].  I have this overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation that [almost] everyone should feel for their [deserving] moms, and I don't think that they get the admiration they deserve.


Thanks mom.  For everything.
<3

[Insert panic attack here]

Wedding Plan Introduction
I'm trying to plan our wedding.  I have some great support in planning this, but I've already thrown my hands up twice.  Let's  give a little bit of background on this, or some funny interpretations of what I take seriously, but have to laugh at so I don't crack.  Due to my scatter brain syndrome with the overload of information and thoughts on this topic, I have put headings for each.  You know, to help you out.

The Food

I signed on to this wedding site in order to help me.  It's a popular site that gives a ton of great advice.  Except when it comes to budget.  There really should be some options.  Do I really need to spend $235364546 on food if I am deciding to do a buffet rather than a sit down meal?  What if I decide to go extremely cheap and ask people to make it pot luck.  There are some people that are on the invite list that are phenomenal cooks.  My friend Sara makes a dip to die for.  My mom makes my favorite 'meal' for my birthday every year.  Spaghetti pizza. [Yeah, I said Spaghetti pizza.  That will be another blog, including recipe.]  Would it be fair to ask people to bring food rather than gifts?  I think it would be kind of hilarious, actually.  I did read that someone did it though, had a potluck dinner.  Personally, I think it's a great idea.  However my dad has offered to do the food [cook yes, maybe buy too!  I haven't asked. Oh, hi Dad! if you're reading this.] On my buffet menu I have macaroni and cheese and chicken fingers.  There will be kids there, and I'll be there.  My dad makes the best mac and cheese I've ever tasted.  No matter how I try, I cannot replicate it.  So he better start taking infinite life potions.  Rich was just talking about getting a mortar and pestle to put on our registry, I think he better get it sooner rather than later to start conjuring these potions for my dad.  So food is a big issue, I don't know what to put on a buffet, because I want it to be affordable.  Secretly, I would rather make a bunch of pizzas [put pineapple on mine please], or serve chips and dip. [My dad would love that!] 

Food is a huge part of the 'budget'.  So big that it has left me with $5 to buy a dress.  Not literally, but sort of.

The Budget

I have talked to all the vendors that I would like to sign on to 'my special day', all are on board.  I've picked my dress, Rich knows what he is wearing.  We know what Richie is wearing.  We have everything set, just in case we become millionaires over night to be able to afford this shindig.  Seriously, I did just make an expense sheet, and I'm ready to cancel the entire thing. And it isn't even that much.  Most people, I think, spend on average $10K on their wedding.  I want to do it in less than $5K.  Why?  Because that's what we average in taxes.  Silly, to plan a wedding on such a tight budget, but I'm such a frugal person that I need to make it as inexpensive as I can.  Can I clip coupons for my wedding?  The only vendor at this moment that requires a deposit is my DJ, and I've upped my package.  All my other vendors, [I'm talking locations, photography and etc] require payment the week of, practically.  All those funds will be paid when our taxes come in.  Then it will all be paid off.  It's do-able.  I'm just seeing the bottom line and it's making me extremely nervous.

The Wedding Channel

 Almost two weeks ago I had foot surgery.  Unrelated to the wedding.  However, I might be able to wear heels, but I won't wear heels because I'm taller than Rich.  I don't want him to be sad on "my special day".  Anyhow, while I was laying in bed one day I came across a wedding channel. I thought to myself "Oh yippie yay! A Wedding channel!"  It might have been a good opportunity to get ideas.  Secretly, I had hoped Martha Stewart had a program on there to give me some DIY ideas.  I think Martha Stewart is a genius, and if she contacted me tomorrow and said, "I want to do your wedding favors FOR FREE!" I would say "Martha, you do whatever you want!"  Sadly, I was stuck with these shows about the dreaded "Bridezilla".  Are they really serious?  I was so turned off, I turned off the channel and haven't turned it on since.  Last week [a week after surgery, actually] I ventured in to David's Bridal.

David's Bridal

I had ventured in to their store, unannounced, just to browse.  I had my perfect dress in mind.  I even had a seamstress that would build it for me!  Since I told Rich what my plan was, I'll just tell you too.  Our wedding is going to be a replica of Princess Peach's dress.  My intention was to try on the same sort of style to make sure it would look good on me.  So walking in there, or hobbling really, with my two Maids of Honor, a close friend of the family, and my mom after she picked up my Smoochy Poo from school, we started to browse.  Within ten minutes one of the ladies came up to me to ask a bunch of questions.  Then she asked me what I was afraid to hear. "Would you like to try on dresses?"  Panic.  Okay, but I don't know what to do after that. She signed me up with a consultant who picked out dresses for me.  Asked me my size, waited patiently for my mom to arrive, talked to me about my plans for my perfect special day.  Remember, I was at this point a week out of surgery.  Wrapped from my toes to my knee, on crutches.  They patiently waited on my every whim it seemed, and tried to get me to sit down and stay off my foot.  Helped me in and out of everywhere.  I tried on five dresses, which I won't describe due to Rich reading. [He's bound to read my blog, maybe because he's interested in what I have to write, or just in case I ask if he read it.]  I stuck with the first dress I tried on because I fell in love with it.  Enough said.  I had a talk to the consultant about Bridezillas, and inquired if she had ever come across one.  of course, she had.  She told me a thousands times in our three hour session how sweet I was, and how much of a pleasure I was to work with.  Must be my sunny disposition, the fact that I was not barking orders, my patients, or maybe it was the percocet.  Either way, I am pretty pleasant and decent to work with.  Except if you ask Rich, he will tell you I'm none of those things, because he hates to agree.  I even had my one MOH in tears all dolled up with the veil, the headpiece and the bouquet.  I can write that because she told me. Haha.  I think my mom might have gotten teary eyed.  The store manager came over and helped also, she had ideas, told me how beautiful I looked, helped wrap me up in the dress. [Which, by the way is two sizes smaller than what I wear.  How is that?!]  The other consultants all gave opinions on the dress also.  It was an extremely pleasant experience, and I would recommend them.  Especially after all the horrible things I've read and heard.  But, maybe I had a good experience because I was so easy going.  Who knows.  Either way, I'm getting my dress from them, and not having it hand made.

The End

How do I end a blog here?  Simple.  I just do.  I have to keep you on your toes waiting for more.

The Freakout

Was over the budget and the money.  While it's possible, it still feels impossible and it is making me very nervous.  Next week I will probably get ready to throw my binder away again.

Okay, so this is it...

A blog?

I've never done a blog before, and I've never had much interest.  Who is going to read this, why would they read this?  And wtf would I be writing?

Danielle is going to read it, and probably add me to her Blog things on her awesome blog.  She'll read it to make sure I'm doing stuff.  Other people might read it, also....  I'm sure I can link it to my facebook.

So then that leaves one question.  What would I write about?

So I did what I do best.  I think to myself. WWRD.  Which translates in to What Would Rich Do?  Instead of playing mind-reader I just asked him.  He said everything and nothing.  that's the beauty of having a blog.

Really, that doesn't do it for me.  I can't just write about everything and nothing at the same time.  Something has to have relevance.  While I can talk a good nonsensical nonsense, I can't WRITE about it. [Wow, I can't believe nonsensical is a word.  Meaning, it isn't underlined in red begging me to correct it.]  I won't open the crazy door to my brain, because that is just insane in there.  Lately, especially, my brain is running on over-drive.

I was completely unsure about writing a blog, but signed up for it.  Then I updated my "wedding website" and said... heck, this is easy!  We'll see about that, though.  It might not be as easy as it seems.  Especially without having many topics.  I could come up with a few, I'm sure.  Especially since I have the cutest kid that does the funniest stuff I've ever seen.

So now I have topics, or I assume I have topics, I need super fancy editing to make my page exciting to read.  Let's be honest, if it doesn't look interesting, it probably sucks.  At least that's my theory.  Content holds interest, but layout, design, and pictures get attention.

So while I consider my venture in to layout, I should wash the dishes.  Enough with the slacking.  After I do the dishes, I'm going to attack Rich with fury.  Because we, together amazingly, are going to figure out what kind of things we're putting on our wedding registry.

That's right, in case anyone was wondering, I'm getting married to Rich [You know, that guy] next year.  While I'm very excited about it, I'm also nervous as hell.

Look, there's another topic!

This might be easier than I thought!